Version 2.0

The hardest part of starting a blog (or restarting a blog in this case) is the first post. I’ve actually considered restarting this thing for a couple of weeks. However each time I tried to decide on a subject to focus in on for the grand first post I ended up discarding it as not being witty enough. Or it’s been too hot. Or I was distracted by trashy TV. Or my favorite web comics updated…

You can see where I’m going with this.

(Does the sideways "s" bug you too? Cause it sure bugs me.)

Today, I have had homemade iced coffee, a day off where all I have to do is laundry, and the Olympics start tonight. The bar is set high. So I’ve decided we’re doing this and I’m taking you with me.

In the spirit of high achievement I’m going to expand on a subject I lovingly call Project Tamara 2.0. This is the never-ending-not-exactly-sure-when-it-began-pinterest-totally-doesn’t-help-with-process that I have been under in trying to better myself. To understand this exhausting project I’m going to give you a peek into how my thought process goes.

(Like this! Only technicolor. And a lot more space for imagination. And not a cartoon. So nothing like this at all.)

You see in my mind I’m currently in between versions of myself. There is Tamara that I’ve been for the last 21 years. We’ll call her pregrad Tammy. She worked hard but was easily distracted, especially by dinosaur jokes and fancy cocktail drinks that would often lead to procrastination. Her normal routine of cooking was opening a bag putting it on a baking sheet, guessing a temperature because she tossed away the bag before reading the instructions, and putting it in the oven while hoping for the best. Sustainable but not really fancy. She spent way too much of her paycheck on coffee and tea and premade foods while not really ever lifting a finger exercise wise. So her physical shape, though really nice, has never been truly athletic. She really didn’t see herself running for long periods of time unless zombies were attacking.

The most telling trait of pregrad Tammy was her hobbies. Meaning she would surf pinterest , or watch youtube videos, or see live performances, or even just walk down the street and decide that she’d want to do something. This something could range from playing the guitar (sensible and possibly career advancing) to becoming an expert knife thrower (impractical and could end in large damage costs). Now this wasn’t a problem until the actual monetary cost was factored in and then all these hobbies that were generally discarded after a couple months suddenly became a big problem.  On multiple occasions ramen was eaten due to reckless spending. However from all of these hobbies came this ideal version of myself.

(... Did I mention I want to learn how to throw cards with ridiculous accuracy?)

This Tamara 2.0 is not only ridiculously responsible, financially independent, and interesting conversationalist but the cyborg makes gourmet meals as well. She does crafts for fun and never has to start over because she missed a step. She paints as well as plays multiple instruments flawlessly. To top it all off she bakes from scratch, keeps her home ridiculously clean 24/7, and never leaves the house without looking like she stepped out of a Nordstrom catalogue.

Now before anyone tells me that this version of me is unrealistic, I understand this. I totally get that perfection doesn’t exist. Tamara 2.0 also single handedly saves an endangered species a week, fights crime in her free time, birds and small animals flock to her when she sings, and she is married to Hugh Jackman. She is a mix of Disney princess, Stepford house wife, and Black Widow from the avengers. She does not exist…. Except in maybe the most boring comic book ever, because she wins every fight AND brings the bad guys homemade cupcakes while they’re in jail.

(Kid you not this is what I found when I googled batman/disneyprincess. God I love the internet sometimes)

So why do I say I’m in between these two versions?

Well, because I think I’m making progress away from some of pregrad Tammy’s bad habits while trying to take on Tamara 2.0’s more realistic aspects. This version of myself I just call me, because that’s really honestly who I am.

I still cook the majority of my meals very simply, but every once in a while I make something gourmet like the coffee I’m drinking and am the happier for it (as well as pretty caffeinated). I’ve managed my own money for the past couple summers and now that I’m completely independent I’m happy to say that I understand the consequences of my financial decisions and haven’t been in danger of not making payments yet (knocks on wood). I'm slowly easing myself into an exercise routine because I know my metabolism is not going to last forever, and seeing as I was cast as a dancer in my last job I should make sure I can dance again in the future. I’m following up on those more practical hobbies, this blog being a prime example, and learning to let the more extreme ones go. So I may never be the best fire breather on a unicycle the world has ever seen, but I will work on my drawing skills and finally pay off that mandolin.

… However my amusement at making fun of T-rex’s tiny arms will never go away.

(I mean come on. That's hilarious!)